Faggots on the Freeway

R. Merle Lavengood 4/30/2007


I think it’s time to bring a long time problem to the forefront. The out of control epidemic of gay sex in the public rest areas that are costing the public money and exposing families to deviate behavior.

On an average week I drive over 2000 miles on the highways and interstates of the US. Over the years I have seen the evolution of the faggot infestation into the rest areas. Anyone that has used a rest area has seen the results of this problem even if they didn’t understand what they were seeing.


The Holt rest stop on U.S. 127-North was the site of a Michigan State Police sting operation that resulted in the arrests of a dozen men on June 11, 2004 on charges of solicitation and inappropriate sexual touching.

Bathrooms at rest stops are pretty much the only possible area for anonymous gay sex action for many remote areas of the country.

Ass wrangling has become so common place in state owned rest stops that the police have spent large amounts of tax payer money on sting operations throughout the country.

There are countless websites devoted to promoting rest area rear romping. The rest areas have become the new bath houses. It is rare that a gay hookup isn’t in the works at any given time at any rest stop you go to.

Most people aren’t around the rest stops enough like truck drivers to pick up on the signals and don’t realize what’s going on right under their noses. The small peep holes in the stalls and the unique gay signal system go unnoticed to most. People need to be more aware of the constant gay cruising that is present before naively sending their young son into the bathroom alone. There are predators rolling stop to stop looking for a rump rodeo constantly.

The first volley in the war against the butt bandits was in the late 80s. The practice then was for the testosterone challenged to park and wander up into the trees along the dog walks and wait for a fellow pole puffer to venture into the woods in search of a little anal attention.

The police with the TV news in tow made countless raids and arrests after receiving numerous complaints from parents who were outraged that their kids witnessed gay sex acts in the faggot forest.

After a string of arrests nation wide the bunghole boys didn’t feel comfortable lurking around the rest area bushes like a sitting duck and changed tactics. Thus the universal signal of backing into the parking space to signal your need for a liquid man lunch was born. Then the young butt lovers can run up into the woods for a quick hit and run without the tell tale standing around in the bushes.

You still see this a lot today. Next time you stop in a rest area take a look around and odds are good you will see at least one car backed in with a lone male inside just waiting.

The police arrests weren’t enough to keep the butt boys from reenacting the love scene from Deliverance so at great expense fences were put up between the picnic areas and the woods to make it harder to slide up into the bushes unnoticed.

If you look all rest areas are now fenced off from the surrounding woods. Deviant faggots are the reason we all paid to have our state property lined with miles of fences.

With the woods becoming harder to access the queer committee moved their butt burglaring into the public men’s restrooms. The men you see at the rest areas standing around aimlessly looking at wall maps or slowly pacing the lobby and sidewalks aren’t there to stretch their legs. They are members of the bath house brigade waiting to find a hookup. The guy following you into the bathroom to wash his hands is actually seeing if you want to give him oral sex in the handicap stall.

The handicap stalls were originally built as the last stalls down on the end against the wall. There the larger partitions sticking out beyond the rest of the stalls ergonomically made more sense. This created a convenient butt orgy room away from the urinals and door. Eventually the bathrooms had to be remodeled at taxpayer expense and the handicap stalls were relocated to the first stall in the line in hopes this would scare off the gays.

  Faced with the dilemma of standard single stalls on the end, the Glory holes became the norm. The freeway faggots cut fist size holes through into the next stall so they could feed their erection through to the guy next door. Many unsuspecting straight men and kids have been surprised by an unwanted penis popping through the bathroom stall’s wall while trying to take care of business.

The states boarded up the holes as fast as they could but new holes would be cut within a day. This battle went on for years before a new tactic was implemented at great taxpayer cost.

The men’s rooms were once again remodeled in the next line of defense. The taxpayers paid to have stainless steel plates installed on the stall walls to make it harder to cut through.

With this hurdle in place

the pole puffers learned to squat down limbo style right on the floor and slide their junk under the stall walls into stall number two for the waiting faggot. One of the many bathroom cammandos website gives this instructional message.

  "Go to a stall at the farthest end of the bathroom. Close the door, pull your pants down and wait. Jerk off quietly while you're waiting.

When someone comes into the next stall, move your foot so that you know the other person can see it and slowly start tapping it. If the other person is also out for a little cock, they will kneel down and place their dick under the stall wall."

With literally millions spent in the war on faggots, the states found themselves right back to square one.

Once again at taxpayer’s expense the men’s rooms were remodeled with stall partitions built lower to the floor leaving only enough room the mop under the walls. Left with stainless steel walls and no slide under room the higher tech tools became the next step in the never ending quest to pound ass in public.

The counter offensive of gay men armed with large cordless hole saws must have sent Home Depot stock soaring. The old primitive looking holes covered over by stainless steel were now replaced by perfect machine cut glory holes in the last stalls if not all the stalls.

Having once again blown the highway budget on faggot proofing bathrooms that don’t work the state planners decided to reevaluate their tactics and changed strategy.

  The new tactic was to make it harder to hide in the stalls and give strangers blowjobs without being seen. The reasoning being that if you force them into the light of day they, like cockroaches they would scatter and run.

The latest budget buster remodel job is a complete redo with short topped half stalls with low to the floor cement and tile partitions. When walking into the bathroom you can easily look anyone seated on the toilet in the face over the short walls. The partitions are 6 inched thick and covered in glazed saw resistant tile. The hopes are that even when the holes start appearing the wall’s thickness will make the holes of no use to anyone not in the John Holmes gene pool.

Many states are following Texas’ lead in removing the stall doors completely exposing everyone’s junk to every person walking into the room. But Texas learned the hard way that this system promotes gays to stand around in the restrooms and openly masturbate watching people sit on the toilet thus earning the state with the motto that “there’s only steers and queers in Texas” as a direct result of the faggots cruising the open front stalls in mass.

the latest tactic is individual stalls cement and tile walled floor to ceiling very tightly so there is no room in the closet like area for two people. If and when the butt boys figute out how to pack in there like a clown car at least they are not visable to other patrons.

This brings us up to date in the war on the queer ass wrangling in public. Millions of our tax dollars wasted trying to combat these deviates and so far nothing has worked.

The government needs to find a way to pass the expense of years of queers gone wild onto the homosexual community to offset the expenses the hetero community has endured. Possibly a gay tax. Maybe a surcharge on any wine coolers or Pier One stuff sold to men wearing loafers.

The gay rights bunch screams that they are being discriminated against by the mainstream world... As long as these rest area cowboys are using our public spaces as an AIDS launching pad most people will view the small group of gay's actions as subhuman regardless of how much they verbally claim to support gay rights as a whole.

If you want to be accepted in society you have to be socially acceptable. You want to be looked upon like monkeys in the zoo, keep acting like monkeys in the zoo.

The gay rights initiative needs to form a pole puffer posse and round up the rest area rump rats and self police the issue if they want mainstream Americans to ever take them serious. Public places need to be sex free zones, gay or straight.

I see this behavior regularly and like many it taints my view on gay rights. As always it’s the extremist few that ruin it for the greater of the group and this is no exception. Personaly I think any ass pirate exposing his junk in a rest area bathroom with children present should have his ass beat by their dad and then be subject to prison where he can can get married to the guy with the most cigerettes and have his ass packed to his hearts delight.

Take that shit home you silly faggots and quit ruining it for everyone else.